28 Oct ”Feeling” life’s magic.
I owe so much to Reiki and the journey I’ve begun under the gentle teaching of a very special soul whose patience and care , is quite overwhelming.
Seems crazy that, it’s taken me to get to the age of 60, to begin to feel that I’m worthy of my life; of being myself and of taking up a place in this crazy world. I’ve learnt that, it’s all okay. That moments matter and time out/alone, is a very good thing. That we don’t need another person’s opinion to validate ourselves: we are each individuals and opinions are purely that: personal opinion not necessarily truths.
I feel like I’ve been reborn and am starting to lift the veil in my being to see the hows and whys I’ve been as I have for the past years. I’m not a bad person: few people are. My faults have been many, including being TOO kind, not understanding the need for ”karmic debt” to be repaid – and for relying on the key people I love to make me feel, ”I’m okay”.
Yet I see now, they cannot do that. Only I can.
I’ve spent my life longing for the attention and love of my Mum: a very beautiful lady with incredible spirit but a completely broken soul. A person not able to love in the way I – or my sisters – have needed. Yet , as the guiding light in my life, however distant she was physically or emotionally, it was her validation I needed so badly – until this past year when I’ve learned to see things differently.
Repeating this need for validation , has seen me in unhealthy situations and partnership. The only great thing I now know is that the partnership is based on love: it’s just we individuals who are a little ”mixed up” and now I’m approaching things differently and stepping back from my need to ”keep the peace”/”take all the responsibility”.
I’m okay. And I’m so very grateful to know this.
My journey now is to let my soul soar and my spirit free: to embrace the differences in others and acknowledge those in myself, without judgement or fears. It’s all okay. It’s all as it is.
The validation is in being alive. Part of this journey with all of the human/animal/plant/spiritual etc elements there are. We all have a place. We all have a purpose.
I’m so grateful to have been introduced to Reiki, as it’s truly the key to helping me ”live out loud” – and, that’s the only way I can do what I’ve always wanted to do : to be whole and helpful and open to life. To play my part in the world, alongside each of you. We are each so worthy.