09 Dec Baking Day?
I woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to get up to bake.
I’ve been baking loads in the past few months – normally ringing my Mum to update her on various pies and odd productions or to ask advice on a recipe. (Advice I never took but at least I asked!).
Mum passed away on Wednesday morning after a horrible, long and debilitating illness. Our hearts are broken though we are comforted that she is out of pain…..
So why baking?
The night gremlins pulled closer but through them, I realised that I bake to feel safe.
To feel ”at home”.
To feel ”belonging and comfort”.
To share with others….
The relevance? It hit me like a tons of bricks: Mum’s early life as a very young Mum, wasn’t easy to say the least. She had her own, very real ”internal monsters” and couldn’t shake them off. Add stress of two young daughters at that stage and she couldn’t cope.
So she baked.
Tons and tons of pies.
So we’d come in from school, to find a kitchen filled with a show of love, which we are able to share with our friends.
We felt rich like no-one could ever believe.
And we felt safe. Even if for a while.
So I’m baking today – with my beautiful Mum in my heart.